I knew I wanted an out of hospital birth, Tyler wasn’t very sure but we talked and talked until he felt more comfortable. We came to the conclusion that we would be going to a birth center, but when we moved we ended up being too far away to continue with that choice.
Our options were feeling limited. We didn’t have the money up front to pay for a birth center. I started looking into birthing at home with a midwife, but first I had to email a few to see if we could pay after the birth.
I emailed quite a few women, and finally after feeling like all was lost, the wonderful Jess emailed me back with a “yes, you can pay after you have the baby”. It was also only going to be half of a birth center.
First I had to ask my parents if I could give birth in their house, they said yes as long as I didn’t ruin the carpet! I told them we had a plan about keeping things covered. They were also a little concerned about not being in the hospital but once they met my midwife and she reassured them, everyone felt much more comfortable with the idea.
I had all of my prenatal appointments at her house, I felt SO comfortable with her and her assistant. They were both so knowledgeable and kind.
We decided early on that we didn’t want to find out the sex of the baby until they were born.
This pregnancy seemed to pass fairly quickly. Summer in the new house was great. We had a nice backyard and a park within walking distance. Kash made new friends so quickly and he spent most of his waking hours with friends. It was an adjustment for us to not see each other very often during the day. Sometimes he would come home very angry and distant, then we learned that he was usually hungry, tired and needing some love. Everett and I would play for quite a few hours, sleep some and return to playing until the rest of the family got home from work.
Tyler and I were doing well. We still had trouble communicating our needs to each other without the other taking it personally. We had a few arguments, but we usually seem to get over it and become stronger each time. We are both different in how we approach disagreements. I want to talk it out until we are fine again and he tends to pull away, ignore and shut down. We have almost made it to the point where we can both get what we need in those situations.
The further along I got in my pregnancy, things seemed to be going great. Then around 35 weeks I just felt like something was off. Whenever I would feel the baby, it felt like the head was right under my ribs, I text my midwife to let her know and she said she would check at our next appointment. My fears were confirmed, the baby was breech and everything was now changing. She told me she would be comfortable delivering if baby was frank breech, if not I would need a C-section. I was feeling pretty devastated at that point. I was sure I was going to be having a home birth and now it was being slowly ripped away from me. She gave me lots of things to try and flip the baby and I stayed as positive as I could as the weeks went on. I spent most of my time upside down in hopes of flipping the baby. Every appointment we checked, and still he/she was breech. She decided it was best if I had an ultrasound to check the exact position of baby. The ultrasound tech found that the baby was footling breech, meaning one foot was up and one was down. In order to try for a home birth both feet would need to be up for the baby’s butt to come out first.
I had to take a few days to process this news.
As you probably know, Tyler is a bowler and he kind of got me into it. He really wanted to join a league, so we started looking for options. We found a place not far from us that had a coed league on Monday nights starting in September, so we decided to give it a try. I was nine months pregnant, but it was super fun. We were put on a random team with two other people we had never met, a man and a woman who also didn’t know each other. Within the first two weeks we got to know the woman, Amanda. The man didn’t really communicate with us and ended up leaving early in the season. We got along with her really well and I could tell it was going to be a fun season.
On September 19 I had a home visit with my midwife for her to check the house if the birth would still happen at home. I wrote all of what happened in my birth story that I will link Here
To Be Continued…